No, wait!! That is definitely NOT the question! I am! And I intend to continue to be! The question is what I SHOULD be! Yes, of course I know I'm a cat! But what I need to know is whether it is more noble to be King of StreetCats or President of StreetCats.
Yes, I know, I have already anointed myself King, but one of the humans asked me the other day if I was named after President Truman. Not knowing what she was talking about I went to the magic machine in my office and looked up "President Truman." Well, excuse me, but why would I be named after him?! He was a human, I am a feline. And, quite frankly, there is not a lot of similarity between the two species! Gee whiz, I have four legs, he had two!! But even if you ignore this species difference, there are other things to be considered. He was born in Missouri, I in Oklahoma. He had poor eyesight! Well, okay mine's not all that great either, but at least I can adequately sniff things out. Humans have terrible noses!! And they are so insecure! Did you know that President Truman bragged about having read every book in the Independence, Missouri, Public Library? And he loved music and played the piano?? I don't need to do any of those things to prove that I'm wonderful. I just know it!!
But here is the most critical difference between President Truman and myself. Now how can I put this delicately? Look back at my picture on my last blog post. Got it? Now you cannot deny that I am one handsome dude!! I know that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say, but come on. Beholder, it cannot be denied! I am gorgeous!! And President Truman?? ?? ?? And besides that, for a human he was not the biggest specimen, maybe 5'8'. I am a large, handsome, outstandingly attractive cat!!
Now that we've settled that I could not possibly have been named after President Harry S. Truman, I will say that the question sparked my interest enough to explore the possibility that President would be more noble than King. I mean President is powerful!! Well, I learned that Presidents have to be elected. This could be my very first problem. And even if you're elected you don't get to just tell people what to do. They have to vote on stuff. And here is the really bad part. If I did something bad (not that I would, of course) I could get thrown out of office, AKA impeached! Well, I just made my decision! I shall continue to be King! Now bow down!!
It has come to my attention that, as King, I will need a court. I think I'd better start working on that. Maybe a prince or two, a princess, a court jester to make me smile . . . a Queen? Whoa! Not too fast!!