Thursday, May 30, 2013

Young Cats, AKA Kittens!

Oh my gosh!  I have to tell you what happened to me yesterday evening.  This could have been so serious!  I had dismissed my human servants to return to their furever homes (I guess that's where they go!) and it was nice and quiet here at StreetCats.  I had settled down to a little multitasking.  I don't mean to brag, but I am smart that way.  I was not only bathing myself, but I was thinking about what I wanted to tell you people next about this place that I am in charge of.  And since I AM  in charge, I may now, after last night, have to consider some changes!

As I said, I was busy minding my own business when out in the hall there was the biggest clatter you could imagine!  See the picture of this pretty little cat? Well, she had come bounding down the hall slapping a toy ball ahead of her.  I have no idea why!  That wouldn't have been so bad, but the floor was slick and she, all of a sudden, slid and ran right into the screen door that separates the general quarters from the "shop."  (More about that later.)  Then back down the hall she ran!  Oh man, there was the biggest noise!  Yikes!

You want to know if she was hurt?  Well, I don't know nor do I care!  But I could have been seriously injured!  As I said, I was giving myself a bath and was grooming one of my paws and I was so startled that my eyes got bigger than they usually are and . . . I almost bit the paw I was grooming!  Oh my goodness, what if I'd gotten a cat bite abscess . . . from my own mouth?!  I don't know if that is possible or not, but I fear I almost found out!

And who is to blame?  Well, look again at the picture.  Her name is Rings and she is, I don't care what they say, a kitten!

This is of significance because whatever cat was in charge when they opened this place decided that no "kittens" would be allowed to live here.  Well, the humans apparently thought they meant those little furry feline creatures you can hold in the palm of one hand.  And, of course we could not allow that!  The only thing our servants would ever get done would be chasing after them and retrieving them from cabinets that they wanted to explore.  Plus I bet some of them would think I was their mother and they would climb the screen door that separates my personal kingdom from the general quarters and . . . well, you get the picture.  It just wouldn't do.

But apparently the humans think that once one of those tiny furry things reaches the majority of their physical growth they are no longer "kittens."  Heeelllooo!  What are they thinking?!  So, as the leader of StreetCats until I get adopted, I may have to give serious consideration to informing my servants of new rules and also a new definition of the word kitten!  The above pictured Rings is not yet a year old! Do they not get it?!  She is a KITTEN!

So now we come to the real reason I chose to blog about this topic.  Please, human readers, come get this cat/kitten before she causes serious damage.  She needs to be adopted, quick!  There are constantly people in here asking if we have kittens, and I'm just telling you that we DO!  And here is an adorable one who will bring you pleasure for years to come!  And how do I know this?  Well, apparently the human servants are not as mature or sophisticated as I am and there is so much play between them and these cat/kittens!  Interesting!  And yes, I said kittenS.  Rings is not even the only one!  I tolerate it because I am a long-suffering cat!  But I fear I could come to the end of my rope!  Please help me!!!!  I don't want to have to impose new restrictions, so ADOPT, ADOPT, ADOPT!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Adoption Celebration

Okay, attention humans!  I promised I would write something just for you so here it is.  Cats, you may read if you wish.  YOU will never be excluded!  And after you read this you will be even more convinced than you were already of where to go if you need shelter!

This, my friends, is Caleb.  Isn't he handsome?!!!  I swear I almost swooned when I saw him!  Of course I did not let on that I found him in any way attractive.  My dignity, you know!  Humans, if you find this boy as attractive as I do, well, then . . . eat your hearts out because he has already been ADOPTED!

 I can't believe I haven't told you about adoption yet!  It is a big deal around here, for all us cats and our servants!  Of course we cats normally maintain our reserved outlook during this process, but I'm telling you the humans are simply gaga, crazy, happy beyond measure!  There is so much talk of "going home" and "furever homes!"  There is laughter, excitement and sometimes even tears.  Oh my gosh, do they not know how to control themselves??!!  And with Caleb it was worse than ever!  You see, Caleb was a companion to one of the most loyal servants that we have ever had at StreetCats, Connie Hutchinson.  She was the best!  We could pick up the phone and call her any time we needed something and she would come running!  We miss her now that she has crossed the rainbow bridge, but I bet there are a lot of animals that are sure happy to see her!  Anyway, Caleb needed some new laps to sit on (see future instructions to cats) and finding a family with laps made all these humans very . . . well, pleased is an understatement.

So humans, if you would like a beautiful companion like Caleb, this is what you need to do.  First, come to the shop and we'll look you over.  Don't think that you are choosing us!  No!  Each kitty will check you out to see if you're "simpatico."  (That means that we'd like you to be our furever servant.)  If it looks like you're approved by the cats, then you can fill out an adoption application and get approved by our guardians.  And man are they picky!  Don't be scared!  They're reasonable, but still will do nothing short of being sure we are taken someplace where we can be properly spoiled rotten!  Ha!  So funny!  How our people love us!  Our servants will call your "references" and even your vet (at the spa) to be sure you will take wonderful care of us!

If everything has gone well up to this point, one of us will choose you and get all ready to go home with you.  This is when the human servants start all the ridiculous giggling and tearing up and talking about "going home."  We try to ignore them!  And YOU, human person, will have to sign an Adoption Contract and make promises about how you will treat us.  Yep!  You sure will have to!  You'll promise to give us good food, excellent spa care (you know that veterinarian I told you about), and you have to keep us inside so that we'll be safe from all the bad things that can happen out there.  And believe me, there are many bad things!  And you have to give us money, like $75, I think!  Ha!  You can't claim we are cheap or easy cats!  Our servants spend a lot of money taking care of us!  One more reason we know we're special!  If we decide right away that we don't like you, you'll bring us back here.  And if at some point down the road, like with Caleb, we need new companions you can bring us back here, too.

So pretty neat, huh?!  Are you reading this, cats????  Aren't we just so lucky?!  Makes me purr happy just thinking about it!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My Spa

Helloo-oo?  Yoo Hoo!  Are you there?  I haven't posted in several days and I'll explain.  Well, I was, of course, not at all stressed by the refusal of the stupid machine to do what I wanted it to do.  But my humans seemed to think I was.  So off to the spa they carried me!  In this picture, taken at the spa, I do look a little stressed and I am never averse to a visit to the spa, so maybe they were right.  I have to admit that our servants always have our wellness as their primary concern!

Oh, and yes, they do take pictures of me at the spa.  I guess it is the eyes, but humans take pictures of me everywhere I go!  Well, okay, I only go here and the spa, but I bet when I go to my furever home (should I decide to go to one) they'll take pictures of me, too.  It is a burden at times, but I carry that burden well, don't you think?

So about this spa.  It is really amazing!  It is called Feline Specialities and only cats can go there.  There are spas that accept other animals, too, but this one is just for cats.  And my servants there are called veterinarians and vet techs and receptionists and . . . well there are a lot of them!  And they all like me, of course!  They give me hair cuts and massages, do my nails (the humans are jealous!) and whatever I need or desire.  See this pad I'm lying on?  It is specially designed to make me feel good, just for me.  The veterinarian, Dr. Zinn, built this spa because she wanted me only to have the very best!  Then Dr. O'Cain came and agreed I should have the best!  Of course the spa is mine, but I do let our servants take other cats from StreetCats sometimes.  They always consult me first!  In case you cat readers need a spa in the future, don't forget, Feline Specialities is its name.  And I hereby give you my special permission to go there.  Say a special hello to Katie for me!  She serves me at both Feline Specialities and Street Cats which is pretty neat!  And tell them I sent you!

Okay, I'll tell you a secret.  The reason I am writing now, and will continue to write without interruption, is because my human friend, Briana, came and helped me with my blog machine.  You can't tell anyone, because she's the only one who even knows what I do here during the middle of the night.  So shhhh!  No telling!

Thursday, May 9, 2013


Have you ever heard a cat growl?  No?  Well, we do know how to growl.  I heard a cat growling at StreetCats today.  His name is Jerry and he came to live here today.  I wish I could show you a picture of him, but . . . well, more about that later.

So why do cats growl?  Well, it is usually a warning.  Jerry was growling to tell the other cats, "I'm here.  And I'm tough enough that you do not want to mess with me!"  I was amazed at how quickly that boy adjusted and quit growling!  Within a couple of hours he was snuggling on one of the human laps.  It is shameful how easy some cats are!  You would think he could have held off a little longer!

So why am I blogging about cats growling?  Well, because if I weren't such a refined, calm, sophisticated, perfect cat, I would definitely be growling right now!  That machine that the humans have here and that helps me write my blog is not doing what I tell it to!  It wouldn't even let me put a picture here!  I get so frustrated and angry!!!!

But since I am who I am, Lulu, the very best cat at StreetCats, I will not growl.  Instead I will turn my back to that machine and I will take a bath, curl up in a ball and go to sleep.  But do not expect any more blogs for a while.  Ignoring that machine is the only thing I know to do right now!  Grrrr!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Purr Power

ATTENTION!  This blog post is not for humans.  If you are a person, please leave the room immediately.  I'll write something for just you in the future, but this post is only for cats.  So shoo!  SCAT!  (That was fun!)

Okay, now that we have only cats reading, I would like to tell you that this is your first lesson from me, Lulu, on how to get along with humans.  Some might call it manipulation, but that has a negative connotation.  Oh what the heck, it is manipulation!  But who cares?  It works!

Today's lesson is about the power of the purr.  Take notes if you like, but really this is not rocket science.  This should be easy for you to remember.  Oh, and speaking of rocket science (which humans have some understanding of), did you know that humans can't do this purr thing.  Not only can they not do it, they don't know how we do it!  That is so funny!!!!  You just feel like it and then you do it.  No big deal!  They can travel to the moon and back but they can't figure us out?!  That should tell you something about the proper creature hierarchy!    

So . . . all together now . . . PURR!  See how easy that is?!  And just that makes these humans feel so happy!  I know this because you hear it all the time around StreetCats.  Oh, he's purring!  Oh, listen to how loud she purrs!  Oh, oh, oh!!!  I can't hear him purring but I feel it!  It gets pretty sickening actually.  But Im just telling you cats, that if you want your servants to be willing to do anything you ask, and more, just give them those purrs.  Do not forget this tip from me!  Use it and report back during our next class about how it worked for you!  You won't be disappointed!

Here is my favorite purr story.  Of course I have the loudest, best purr of all the cats at StreetCats, that goes without saying.  Well, one day I was startled awake from my nap by three humans standing around me smiling and giggling.  Like I said, I was startled, because I was sound asleep!  How rude was that?!  And why were these humans so happy?  Well, apparently I had been purring while sleeping soundly.  So what's the big deal????  I guess I was having a very contented dream.  But one person said she had never seen a cat purring while sound asleep and they all just thought it was so "cute."  Gag me!

So let's hear it for purring!  Purr when you're happy, purr when you're contented, purr when you're hungry.  And yes, even purr when you're asleep!  You will be amazed at what this unfathomable (to them) ability of ours will bring you!  Purr, purr, purr!