Okay, attention humans! I promised I would write something just for you so here it is. Cats, you may read if you wish. YOU will never be excluded! And after you read this you will be even more convinced than you were already of where to go if you need shelter!
This, my friends, is Caleb. Isn't he handsome?!!! I swear I almost swooned when I saw him! Of course I did not let on that I found him in any way attractive. My dignity, you know! Humans, if you find this boy as attractive as I do, well, then . . . eat your hearts out because he has already been ADOPTED!
I can't believe I haven't told you about adoption yet! It is a big deal around here, for all us cats and our servants! Of course we cats normally maintain our reserved outlook during this process, but I'm telling you the humans are simply gaga, crazy, happy beyond measure! There is so much talk of "going home" and "furever homes!" There is laughter, excitement and sometimes even tears. Oh my gosh, do they not know how to control themselves??!! And with Caleb it was worse than ever! You see, Caleb was a companion to one of the most loyal servants that we have ever had at StreetCats, Connie Hutchinson. She was the best! We could pick up the phone and call her any time we needed something and she would come running! We miss her now that she has crossed the rainbow bridge, but I bet there are a lot of animals that are sure happy to see her! Anyway, Caleb needed some new laps to sit on (see future instructions to cats) and finding a family with laps made all these humans very . . . well, pleased is an understatement.
So humans, if you would like a beautiful companion like Caleb, this is what you need to do. First, come to the shop and we'll look you over. Don't think that you are choosing us! No! Each kitty will check you out to see if you're "simpatico." (That means that we'd like you to be our furever servant.) If it looks like you're approved by the cats, then you can fill out an adoption application and get approved by our guardians. And man are they picky! Don't be scared! They're reasonable, but still will do nothing short of being sure we are taken someplace where we can be properly spoiled rotten! Ha! So funny! How our people love us! Our servants will call your "references" and even your vet (at the spa) to be sure you will take wonderful care of us!
If everything has gone well up to this point, one of us will choose you and get all ready to go home with you. This is when the human servants start all the ridiculous giggling and tearing up and talking about "going home." We try to ignore them! And YOU, human person, will have to sign an Adoption Contract and make promises about how you will treat us. Yep! You sure will have to! You'll promise to give us good food, excellent spa care (you know that veterinarian I told you about), and you have to keep us inside so that we'll be safe from all the bad things that can happen out there. And believe me, there are many bad things! And you have to give us money, like $75, I think! Ha! You can't claim we are cheap or easy cats! Our servants spend a lot of money taking care of us! One more reason we know we're special! If we decide right away that we don't like you, you'll bring us back here. And if at some point down the road, like with Caleb, we need new companions you can bring us back here, too.
So pretty neat, huh?! Are you reading this, cats???? Aren't we just so lucky?! Makes me purr happy just thinking about it!
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