Saturday, November 22, 2014

Help Wanted

It is with a heavy, heavy . . . VERY heavy (can you feel the weight of it?) heart that I write this blog entry.  Now I am a nice cat.  Just ask anyone!  I only nip the humans when they are clearly not getting what I am telling them.  I sit on some laps when the cleaning is finished!  I purr!  I wait nicely for my food!  I do all the things a cat should do in order to get along with humans, but there are some things that cannot be tolerated.  And I'm sure you're going to understand and agree with me when I explain.  So here I go!

A few weeks ago, things started getting crazy at StreetCats.  Here is a picture to show you just how crazy they got.

See?!!!!  This is my room . . . MY special room!  And look what a mess it was!  Of course I gave the humans who made this mess the benefit of the doubt.  There was no question in my mind but that a disaster of some kind was coming.  A hurricane??  No, wait, we don't have hurricanes here.  A tornado?  No, you can't predict that ahead of time.  So what???  I didn't know but I had faith that there was a good reason for this mess.  I looked out into the shop and here is what I saw.

Well, as you can imagine, I was getting just a bit freaked!!  Never before has anything like this happened at StreetCats!  And there seemed to be nothing I could do to control it!  Many of the cats were very upset, scared even.  Is it the end of the world????

Then this happened!

YES, I was put behind bars!  Me, Vanna, the StreetCats blogger!  I kept asking what was going on?  The humans just scurried around as if they knew what they were doing.  And then strange people came in with strange tools.  And they made strange noises!  I heard repeated words that have been spoken fairly frequently in the last several weeks, words like redo, redecorate, remodel.  They obsessed about colors!  I frankly didn't know what these discussions meant, but I could tell by what was happening that it was serious.  Then magically one day we were released from our captivity and things went back to normal.  Really!  I guess whatever disaster they were preparing for didn't happen.  Whew!  What a relief!  And how fortunate we cats are to have humans who take such good care of us!

And then the November newsletter was published.  And the humans were unable to hide it from me.  I learned that all this activity was what they were talking about when they said "redecorate."  And I learned that the humans were not protecting us from some kind of disaster.  They did this on purpose!  For no better reason than that they wanted to!!!  Don't expect me to understand this ridiculous behavior!  Things were perfectly fine here!  Did they just think this was really fun or something?

Well, you can clearly see how this type of behavior is beyond anything that I can tolerate.  Therefore, I am firing all human volunteers who work at StreetCats of Tulsa.  But before I can fire them, I need new human helpers.  So this is my call for all you human heroes out there who want a really great job here at StreetCats!  It is a really fun job where you have the privilege of cleaning litter boxes, washing cat beds, cleaning cages, feeding kitties, sweeping and mopping floors EVERY SINGLE DAY!!  Isn't that great?!  And when you've done all that, we will allow you to play with us!  Really!  And we'll sometimes sit on your laps and we might even purr for you!  What more could any human want?!

Now I've got to figure out exactly how to do this.  Come in and see me and I'll sign you up.  But don't tell the humans you meet what you are doing.  That will be just between you and me.  Then when I get enough new helpers I'll tell the old ones to hit the road!  Oh, and one more thing.  I will be hiding from all potential adopters.  If they saw me, they would want me.  And clearly I cannot be adopted right now.  I have responsibilities!!!

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